Best Forward I Ever Got!

Since you're my special Non-Cruising buddies, I'm going to share the best email forward I ever received. This thing makes me laugh no matter how many times I've read it! Some of you may have seen me tweeting lines from this in the past. Its so funny, I have to share it with you all today! Hope you enjoy it as much as I do!

RANDOM THOUGHTS

- I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

- More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.

- Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

- I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?

- I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

- Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know" feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?

- There is a great need for sarcasm font.

- Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f was going on when I first saw it.

- I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.

- How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

- I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

- I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

- The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

- A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.

- Was learning cursive really necessary?

- Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".

- I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

- Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

- How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

- I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a d!ck from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

- Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"

- What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

- While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

- MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

- I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

- Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

- I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

- Bad decisions make good stories

- Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!

- Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?

- If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.

- Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....

- You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

- Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.

- I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

- "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.

- I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'

- I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

- I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

- I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

- Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles.

- As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

- Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

- It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

- I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

- Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.

- Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time.

- My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day, "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?

- It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.

- I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

- I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

- I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.

- The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.

Non-Cruisers 2011

So, some of us are non-cruisers again. But that's ok! We're making a decision at this point to not go to save money or have family time! That doesn't diminish our love for NKOTB one bit! We're still die-hard fans! Don't forget that!

I'm going to be posting things on this site that are light-hearted, funny and just plain entertaining. This will be a spot you can come to when you need a break from cruise talk on Twitter. After booking day, people usually stop talking about the cruise somewhat, but this site will always be here if you need it.

So, keep your head up! Smile! Your NKOTB life does not end just because you aren't going to be on that boat!

*HUGS*

- Heather (aka @RocksicleLover)

Saturday Drink/Tweet Fest!

Those of us who are going to be left at home on Saturday night are planning a Twitter party! First, on HBO EAST The Hangover is premiering at 8pm EDT. Whoever wants to join let's watch and tweet together!

Then, if you haven't joined already, at 10pm EDT, 9pm CDT, 8pm MDT, 7pm PDT let's grab our favorite beverages and settle in for some Blockhead time! We can drool over cruise pics coming in, chat about our weekend pampering and just have some fun! Saturday night is also Pajama Night on the cruise. Feel free to Twitpic you in your PJs that night! :)

Make sure to follow the Non-Cruisers List on Twitter, if you aren't already: http://twitter.com/RocksicleLover/non-cruisers A bunch of people, just like you, who aren't cruising this weekend.

Now, everyone will need a drink for the Drink/Tweet Fest! So.... What are YOU drinking? If you are unsure, here are some recipes to give you some ideas. If you have any drinks to recommend (store bought is good too), feel free to comment!

Includes alcoholic and non-alcoholic:

Sangria! Sangria!

1/2 cup brandy
1/4 cup lemon juice
1/3 cup frozen lemonade concentrate
1/3 cup orange juice
1 (750 milliliter) bottle dry red wine
1/2 cup triple sec
1 lemon, sliced into rounds
1 orange, sliced into rounds
1 lime, sliced into rounds
1/4 cup white sugar (optional)
8 maraschino cherries
2 cups carbonated water (optional)

In a large pitcher or bowl, mix together the brandy, lemon juice, lemonade concentrate, orange juice, red wine, triple sec, and sugar. Float slices of lemon, orange and lime, and maraschino cherries in the mixture. Refrigerate overnight for best flavor. For a fizzy sangria, add club soda just before serving.

Chocolate Coffee Kiss

3/4 fluid ounce coffee liqueur
3/4 fluid ounce Irish cream liqueur
1/2 fluid ounce creme de cacao liqueur
1 teaspoon brandy-based orange liqueur (such as Grand Marnier®)
1 cup hot brewed coffee
2 tablespoons whipped cream
1 1/2 fluid ounces chocolate syrup
1 maraschino cherry

In a coffee mug, combine coffee liqueur, Irish cream, creme de cacao and Grand Marnier. Fill mug with hot coffee. Top with a dollop of whipped cream, drizzle with chocolate syrup and garnish with a maraschino cherry.

Sunny Citrus Cooler

1 (46 fluid ounce) can pineapple juice
2 (12 fluid ounce) cans frozen orange juice concentrate, thawed 3/4 cup lemonade concentrate
6 cups ginger ale, chilled
Orange slices

In a 1-gal. pitcher, combine pineapple juice, orange juice concentrate and lemonade concentrate. Add ginger ale and mix well. Serve over ice. Garnish with orange slices if desired. Refrigerate leftovers.

20 GREAT things about NOT going on the cruise!

1) Saving at least $1500 if not more!
2) People don't look at you like you're crazy when you say you're going on an NKOTB cruise.
3) Absence makes the heart grow fonder - the guys will love us more while they're missing us! ;)
4) We won't have to deal with crazy, catty, complaining fans in a confined space!
5) No worries about Norwalk virus.
6) No sea sickness.
7) You will never be "that drunk girl who acted like a fool on the ship".
8) Your family will be much happier you didn't go.
9) It'll be that much easier to save $ and convince family you need to go NEXT year.
10) No need to diet! Those NKs won't be seeing US in bikinis!
11) No chance of disappointement that the trip didn't live up to your expectations.
12) You get to save some of your vacation time for future NKOTB adventures.
13) No stress about getting your passport in time, making your flight, arriving in port on time or arriving at the airport on time for the return flight.
14) This is a great exercise of self control.
15) You don't have to hear the DJ play the same song over and over.
16) You don't have to go Twitter free for the weekend because its too expensive to tweet.
17) You can SLEEP and you won't miss anything.
18) No sand in your swimsuit.
19) You're meeting a number of cool girls through the #NonCruisers list!
20) You get to pamper yourself that weekend instead!

Feel free to add more in the comments!

Pampering Weekend Kick-Off!

Many of our friends are going on an awesome cruise to see our 5 favorite men. We are not. We are the #noncruisers! We held our ground and said "no" to the many offers of cruise openings (even if we could only make out a whisper when saying "no" because we wanted to go so badly). And we deserve a reward for that strength! Soooo....

Let's Pamper This! ;)

I want all NON-cruisers to plan SOMETHING to do for the weekend of May 14-17 that is JUST FOR YOU. Something to pamper yourself. Anything that will make YOU happy! Here are some ideas:

- Massage

- Pedicure

- Manicure

- Hair/Makeup appt

- Reading a book ... in silence

- Getting some extra sleep

- Visiting a coffee shop and JUST RELAXING

- Sitting in a massage chair at the mall for longer than 5 minutes

- Watch a chick flick with your favorite glass of wine

- Take a long hot bath

Anything that focuses on you. And MAKE AN APPOINTMENT to do it! That way you have something concrete to look forward to! And its just ANOTHER reason to NOT go on the cruise! "A cruise opening? Heck no! I have a date with a massage chair that Saturday!"

I know my state doesn't have many Blockheads left who are NOT going cruising, but if you can find other BHs to go to the spa with, DO IT! Enjoy each other's company if you can! But if you can't, KNOW that you are not alone! You can relax knowing several of your sisters are relaxing and pampering themselves too!

I'm also going to add a SUGGESTION: Do not listen to NKOTB during this activity. The point is for the focus to be OFF of the cruise. But this is just a suggestion.

Feel free to brag all about your upcoming pampering on Twitter! It might give others ideas about what they should do. When you are done with your pampering, share it on Twitter! Tell us all about it! Show us your nails or your hair!

I also say that all of us at home on Saturday night should grab our favorite beverage and settle in to Twitter and have our own party! We can drool over cruise pics and chat about our pampering! Let's tentatively plan on starting at 10pm EDT, 9pm CDT, 8pm MDT, 7pm PDT. Early for the West Coast and overseas, but what can I say... I'm an Eastern time zone peep! ;) Saturday night is also Pajama Night on the cruise. Feel free to Twitpic you in your PJs that night! :)

Comment here to let us know what you have planned! If we come up with any special NON-cruise chat rooms during that weekend or if I hear of any other activities for that weekend for non-cruisers, I'll post them here.

Now, get to planning your pampering!!!